Thursday, January 04, 2007

Ogre couple on Dr. Phil

"Dr. Phil all he ever thinks about is smashing. Me smash this and me smash that. Is it to much to ask for a little attention?" female ogre looks at her husband.
"No, everyone deserves attention." Dr. Phil looks at the female ogre wondering how he got to this point. Isn't this a Jerry Springer side show kind of thing.
"Honey, I thought you liked smashing. We used to go smashing together all the time. What happened?" The male ogre scratches his head. He was so confused. His brain wasn't set up to handle this kind of thing. His wife liked to smash didn't she?
Now this probably would have worked itself out from here if only Dr. Phil could have stayed out of it. However being his usual self he had to butt in. "Now what we seem to have here is a failure to communicate. Now, um male ogre, you have to be better to your wife. She needs more then just, um, smashing. Maybe once in a while bring her flowers. Take her out to dinner."
"I know say anything bout dinner. I eat just fine. My cooking good." Female ogre beat at her chest.
"I'm sure your cooking is just fine. I was just saying he should pamper you once in a while."
"My wife does not need pampers. She can use potty just like anyone." male ogre was confused as to why Dr. Phil was insulting his wife in such a manner but it wouldn't go on much longer. He loved his wife and no one would insinuate she needed diapers.
"sniffle," Female ogre starts crying. "Why Dr. Phil so mean?"
"Oh no that's not what I meant. I meant he should treat you well."
"Now you say mean things about my man. You go to far." Female ogre stood up putting a small hole in the ceiling where her hair went through the drywall.
The male ogre was impressed by his wife standing up for herself against the mean human.
The female ogre grabbed her club from under her chair.
Dr. Phil never saw it coming.
"Me smash." Suddenly He was no more. "You gotta let me smash from time to time too."
"I love you honey." The male ogre rushed to his wives side as all the human audience members ran screaming from the room.
"I love you too."

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